As I am trying to digest the last 9 days experience, its
almost unspeakable what happens to you, not in a bad or weird way, but it’s
such an intense experience its unspeakable in that it is almost impossible to
explain! Like all good things (eg
Reiki Attunements, warm flourless chocolate cake, smelling a new born baby)
these are things to be experienced, not taught.
So here goes an intellectual version of the real thing!
#1 Literal Listening:
In many other tools and philosophies (Law of Attraction, NLP) we are taught that the universe hears us literally, and whatever we focus on is what we get. So for example in LOA we do not use negatives such as “I don’t want to be fat” because the Universe picks up on the focus ie the word ‘fat’ and gives us more of that.
In learning to speak literally and to get really clear on what we want, Byron Katie flips it and asks us to get really literal on what we hear as well. It seems so obvious, but it was a real lightbulb for me.
For example, you’re having a fight and your partner yells at you “You’re not Listening to me!!!!!” what goes on in your head when that is said is probably a similar version to what goes on in my head:
“That’s not true!
I totally listen, he’s the one not listening!”
“I can repeat everything he said to me!”
“I don’t need to listen, he’s already repeat himself 5
times”
"I don’t need to listen, he’s wrong anyway” Etc etc
In literal listening, we hear the statement: “You’re not Listening to me!!!!!” and we pause, take it in, and ask ourselves…is it true?
Well, duh! With all that nonsense going on in my head, of course I'm not listening!
The usefulness of this technique is in its simplicity, and truth. If we assume the Universe is kind, everything that happens to us is part of the Universal support for our growth and learning. So when someone says to us “You’re not Listening to me!!!!!” it’s a strong message from the Universe that we need to start listening – yes to the person who is talking to us, but also elsewhere in our life, eg. To ourself, to the world, to others, to our body etc etc where else in your life are you not listening?
There’s another way this works that is a real gem if you are fed up of fighting with loved one. I now see every argument as a gift from the Universe, lots of messages for me to meditate on! Recently my hubbie and I started a heated discussion on the topic of our children, but instead of rushing to my own defense, I rushed for the pen and paper, sat down and started scribbling furiously as he talked “What else?” I asked him. You can imagine it stopped the fight dead. Who can stay angry when you are nodding and writing and feeling gratitude that your partner is such a brilliant teacher, and who can remain unheard and frustrated when your partner is scribbling down your every word and asking for more feedback?
The end of War, now that’s something worth learning!
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