You know, I've been having a great month so far, so I was taken aback when on Tuesday my rosy world startedto fall apart. It started off with my sitter calling in sick and me with a pile of frustrated 'to dos', and sort of went down hill from there. Every day got progressively worse - my youngest decidedto start getting up at 5am, my eldest decidedshe was going to melt-down every day at 4pm till bedtime, my hubbie was away on business all week. It got SO bad I didn't have time to watch my usual CSI fix...yes, THAT bad!!! I was ranting and raving at the kids, feeling terrible and disappointed in myself, and I couldn't quite get a grip on what on earth was going on.
Then today, I got off an invigorating call with a wonderful group of colleagues; my children decided to play nice ALL day; its been wonderfully sunny so we were outside most of the afternoon and it suddenly hit me.....I was having a BRILLIANT day! And then it hit me even harder....I can't actually control all this outside 'stuff' and how the kids decide to behave, and whether my sitter is well or ill, and and and...but it affects me so deeply that I am prepared to jump down everyone's throats for it, when really all I need do is accept that some days are going to be really really tough, and just compose myself through it all. Call it 'wisdom training', if you like. After all, other days are going to be brilliant, and if we're too caught up in how terrible everything is some of the time, we'll miss all the good stuff most of the time.
I am extremely grateful for this day. And yes, I'm off to catch up on my CSI!
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