Elaine Grundy: looking for Urban Enlightenment

Taking Time off as a mother

My birthday today!  Reflecting on this time last year, I wrote a blog that's worth repeating!

"This weekend is the first time in 4.5 years I get to go out as 'Elaine' and not 'Mommy', two whole days, two whole nights...bliss!

What I can't believe is that its actually taken me 4.5 years and the excuse of celebrating my 40th to get me off my backside and get me out the door.  Am I the only one around here with 'mommy guilt'?  I don't think so, out of 9 women coming to join me, 7 are also mothers of young children, and this is the first time most of them are stepping out alone too...gosh, whatever will we talk about?!

Its amazing that despite my number one top priority for clients being 'keep hold of yourself' I seem to have miss

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my own top tip.  Yes, I work from home, I have lots of projects and fill my time admirably with all sorts of busyness, but when do I really just take time for myself, hang out and gossip with girlfriends, go for a spa, read a book (remember that?)....

I've realiz

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as I come up to this weekend that its WAY too long a time to have been solely a mom.  That really I should have done this years ago.  So why didn't I?  Well, first of all I have a healthy degree of 'mommy guilt',  second of all I have an obsession of 'only mommy can do it like the kids want it', and third and lastly I have a big dose of 'but they neeeeeee

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meeeee'.  Oh get over myself!  And you know what, I am! 

Over the past few weeks as I have been building up to the weekend I've also been taking a fair amount of time out for myself - I start

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a Tai Chi class, I start

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making dates with girlfriends to go watch movies, and I start

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getting out the house more to work and network and generally do non-mom stuff.  What I've realiz

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(somewhat to my chagrin) is that my capable husband and kids actually have more fun without stress

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out mom around, they do a lot more and go charging off to the zoo and the parks and all sorts of great adventures, its increas

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the bond between father and daughters significantly, and its increas

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my husband's respect for what I do and his confidence as a carer.  Its really incr

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ible that 'selfishly' taking time out for myself has actually benefit

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everyone.  I highly recommend it, but please don't take as long as I did to come to this realization!"

Well, this year I'm off to Bali for a week...how about you?!

Organizing the dreaded 'To Do List'

Ahh...the ongoing debate, 'to do' or not 'to do' that is the question!!  I like my to do lists when I'm trying to organize something specific, like a party or my trusty Holiday Packing List, but I also love to let go of the daily list and just let it flow, see what mood I'm in and not let 'The List' rule my day. 

I got a wonderful tip afew weeks ago from Eva, my coach, she calls it the Placemat List (I think she got it from Abraham).  What you do is make two columns, on the left you right down ONLY the things you absolutely know you will get done today, and if that's only one thing, then that's just fine.  All the rest of your 'to do's' you write on the right hand side and you give it over to the Universe/ God/ Guardian Angel etc to take care of for you.  It doesn't mean you don't do it, it just means you trust you'll get to it when the time is right, or it will get taken care of, somehow.

Wow, I've been using it and its really fantastic! First of all the sheer bliss of handing it over to a higher power and the relief of all that responsibility.  Second, I can relax about it and so get alot more done anyway.  And Third quite a few of the 'To Dos' have just been superseeded by events or have literally been taken care of by themselves.  Very cool!

Try it for yourself and let me know what you think!